No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize