So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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