So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
