ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize
