you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
