Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
