didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
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