I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
