So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
