Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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