Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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