I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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