Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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