Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
