Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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