I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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