quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
