that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
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