so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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