Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
