I'm laying in your front yard are you home
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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