$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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