i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
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there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
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I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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