Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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