Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
