In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize