Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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