Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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