the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
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