Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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