She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
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