i always forget guys have bellybuttons
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
