I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
