cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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