I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
