They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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