Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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