??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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