Your tits are I can't wait for
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Randomize
