And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize