the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
