Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
bring money and cleavage
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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