btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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