a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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