I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
