I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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