I just gift wrapped bread.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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