if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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