Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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