Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
