Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Randomize
