Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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