just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
