You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
