she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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