That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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