Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize