I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
