For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
