Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You made out with two different species that night
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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