Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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