Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
