I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
