so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Princesses don't give blow jobs
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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