If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
