Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
