a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
